Tag: uniqueness


How To Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

It’s time to stop comparing yourself to others! Comparing yourself can be destructive to your self-esteem, detrimental in the pursuit of your purpose, and downright depressing!

Yet, you probably find yourself playing the comparison game quite often. Does it tend to happen most when scrolling through Facebook or Instagram? Yeah, that’s what I suspected.

We all know logically that (most) people only post their best moments in life on social media, and edit out their worst moments. But emotionally it’s hard for us to remember this. As a result, we end up comparing our worst to someone else’s best, while forgetting others also have a worst.

If you don’t learn how to stop comparing yourself to others, you will never reach your own potential.

So how can you stop? Let’s look at the following case study to find out.

Stop Comparing Yourself (A Case Study)

Artists of any medium (performing artists like dancers, actors, singers and songwriters and visual artists like painters, sculptors, and photographers) tend to be much harder on themselves and compare themselves more to others than non-artists do.

Jessica* was no exception. I met Jessica when I was giving a presentation on the topic of personal branding at the Nashville Arts & Business Council. She was a songwriter attending the event along side various other artists, including everyone from graffiti artists to jewelry makers.

After I led the group through the three phases of my personal branding program, Jessica broke down in tears. She quickly let the group know her tears were happy tears.

She explained how she’d been comparing herself to all the other songwriters in Nashville since she moved to town to pursue her passion for music. And now, this program helped her see she doesn’t have to compare herself to her competition. She said it taught her how to better pinpoint her own uniqueness.

Jessica felt relief and was freed from the damage she’d been doing to her self-esteem with unnecessary comparison.

How you can stop comparing yourself to others

While artists might compare themselves more to their peers than you do, I’m sure you find yourself doing so more often than you’d like. So what are some things you can do to stop?

One, when you get the urge to pick up your phone and start scrolling and comparing, instead put your phone down and go find something to do that will make you forget to check your phone.

This could be something you enjoy so much you easily lose yourself in it. Like, reading a new book, taking a walk, writing in your journal, making something with your hands, trying a new hobby, etc.

stop comparing yourself

Two, realize everyone has a unique way of doing the same things others do. When you do those things in your own unique way, no one else can do them like you can. It’s like having your own thumbprint on your process.

Three, discover the things you’re good at and how you do them uniquely. If you need help discovering what you’re good at, I encourage you to check out my personal branding program for yourself. You can go through it in one of three ways:

  1. Purchase the paperback book on Amazon.
  2. Get the book for free with purchase of the on-demand video course.
  3. Get personalized one-on-coaching to help you with your specific needs and questions on discovering your unique skills and developing your personal brand.

Restore your self-esteem by being productive in the pursuit of your passion and purpose instead of wasting your time comparing yourself to others!

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*Name has been changed for privacy.

stop comparing yourself

4 Ways To Understand Your Uniqueness

A few weeks ago I gave a presentation to over 125 people on how to articulate their uniqueness through personal and professional branding. After all, everyone will always have to answer the question, “What makes you unique?” Sometimes the wording of that question will vary depending on the situation.

Lori Bumgarner, passion and career specialist

For instance, in a job interview it might be asked, “Why should we hire you?” For my former clients who were recording artists trying to secure a label deal, the label heads ask, “Why should we sign you?” For a budding entrepreneur, investors might ask, “Why should we invest in you?” In each case, what is really being asked is, “What makes you unique?” In other words, what is your personal brand?

Understanding Your Uniqueness

I work a lot with my clients on helping them determine the answer to that question (because they often find it’s not an easy one to answer), and then how to appropriately articulate it. While I have my own effective method of doing this, this morning I read a devotional entitled “Understand Your Child’s Uniqueness.” The ways it suggests to discern your children’s uniqueness are also ways we can use to understand our own uniqueness:

  1. What are your interests? Do you like numbers, colors, activities, etc.?
  2. What are your relationships like? Are you a leader, a follower, a team player, an independent spirit?
  3. What kind of environment do you thrive in? Do you prefer to stand out in a crowd or to blend in with a crowd? Do you do better at learning a subject as opposed to being tested on that subject?
  4. What are your strengths? (This is something I spend a lot of time on in helping my clients define and articulate their personal brand.)

A Good Example

This morning’s devotional stated, “Childhood tendencies often forecast adult abilities.” This is no big revelation. It makes perfect sense, and most of us already know this.

But I loved the example the writer of the devotional used to illustrate this point. As a boy, King David displayed two strengths:  fighting (against Goliath) and music. As a result, David grew up to be a victorious warrior in numerous battles against the enemy, and became a talented harpist and gifted songwriter, writing many of the Psalms. The example of David is a perfect one to show you don’t have to be and do just one thing.

I have a lot of clients who have spent years working in one area of their strengths or interests, but are ready to explore their other interests and develop new skills. They need help figuring out how to make this transition. This includes helping them articulate what makes them unique from others who are doing the same thing with the same abilities.

What Makes You Unique?

Do you know what sets you apart from others with similar interests and skills? If not, I’ll soon be sharing both in person and online my personal branding method designed to help you determine your uniqueness and how to articulate it.

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In-person workshops will be held through Nashville Community Education on Tuesday, May 31st at 7:00-8:00 pm and Tuesday, June 7th at 7:00-8:00 pm. Cost is $45 (price includes both class dates). Registration is required at http://bit.ly/communityedclass.

To ensure you receive updates on both the in-person and online workshops, subscribe to the paNASH newsletter. If you prefer one-on-one assistance in this area, take a moment to complete the paNASH intake form and schedule an appointment for an initial consultation. I’d love to hear from you!

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