Tag: limiting beliefs


5 Common Fears (and Myths) of Quitting a Job You Hate (Re-post)

You hate your job, but because of it you don’t have the time or energy to start the overwhelming process of finding something new.

And you think you can’t quit it until you find another job.

But is that really a true statement, or just a common myth?

Let’s look at some of the common fears most people have about quitting a job with nothing else lined up.

Let’s challenge the assumptions that breed those fears.


Common Fear/Myth #1

I won’t be able to afford my bills. Is this a true statement?

Do you have a little extra money stashed away you can get by on for a little while?

Are there some unnecessary expenses you can cut to help you pay your necessary bills?

For example, could you sell your car and take the bus for a while? Or just park your car and cancel your insurance for a few months while taking the bus instead?

Do you really need cable or a Netfilx subscription right now? Do you need numerous music subscriptions? Or can you just listen to good old fashioned radio?

Are there some things you no longer need you could sell? What about that treadmill the only gets used as a place to throw your clothes when you don’t feel like hanging them up (you know who you are!).

What about the stack of books you’ve already read (or know you’re never going to read)?

If you live alone, do you really need a TV in more than one room?

Are there some other ways you can earn cash like picking up some temporary side jobs or a part-time job?

In addition, can you get a roommate and charge rent to help with some of your housing costs?

Do you own something else others might want to rent on a short-term basis?

Do you have a skill people will pay you to perform because of their lack of that skill?

Click here to see how this paNASH client has been able to affordably quit his job and pursue his passion in art and illustration.


Common Fear/Myth #2

I’ll lose my health insurance and retirement accounts. Not necessarily.

If you leave your job you can always transfer your retirement over to an IRA where it can still earn some money and you can still contribute to it yourself a little at a time until you get your next full-time opportunity.

The only thing you’ll be missing out on in the short-term is your company’s matching contribution.

When it comes to health insurance, you can easily find temporary health insurance, alternatives to Obamacare, and more.

If you happen to do a little freelancing on the side after leaving your job, you may qualify for very affordable insurance through the Freelancers Union at freelancersunion.org (also, it’s free to join the union!). I get my dental and long-term disability insurance through them at very little cost per month.


Common Fear/Myth #3

It’ll look bad on my resume. Sure, if all you do is become a couch potato after quitting, it will look bad!

However, if you use your time to improve your skillset, take some affordable online classes, do some side or freelance projects, volunteer with a local non-profit, raise money to travel on a mission trip, pursue a passion project, or work a fun part-time job, it’s not going to look bad at all.

Whatever you do, do something you find interesting.

I’m sure if it’s something interesting to you, it could be interesting to the people who’ll eventually be interviewing you.

Show on your resume what you’ve done and the skills and lessons learned from those interesting experiences. This will make your resume stand out.

Tim Ferris, author of the bestseller The 4-Hour Workweek suggests answering the interview question, “Why did you leave your previous job?” with,

“I had an once-in-a-lifetime chance to do [interesting experience] and couldn’t turn it down.”

He says because most interviewers are bored in their own jobs, they’ll spend much of the interview asking how you made it happen.

You can then respond with how your skills and resourcefulness you used to make it happen will make you the person they should hire.

When I started phasing out my image consulting business due to burnout to decide if I wanted to return to full-time career coaching or not, I worked a few weekends teaching beginner stand up paddling at my local SUP shop.

If I’d had to go through a job interview following that experience, I can guarantee you I would pique the interviewer’s interest if I said,

“I taught people the closest thing to walking on water.”

Then, I would tell them about how I used my teaching and training skills to do so.


Common Fear/Myth #4

I need to have a “real job” instead of trying to freelance. Freelancing IS a real job! And it’s one of the fastest growing jobs in the country.

Don’t believe me? Just check out this infograph courtesy of Upwork.com and Freelancersunion.org:

 

Even if you have no plans to become a freelancer, you still need the skills of an entrepreneur to be successful in your next job. (Click here for a list of those skills.)


Common Fear/Myth #5

If I don’t quit now, I’ll never find a way out and will be stuck in my job forever! Not true!

You may feel like you have to quit your job right away despite the fears listed above, but you don’t have to quit YET!

You can start creating an exit strategy now and implement it later when the timing makes more sense.

Yes, eventually you’ll have to rip off the band-aid and quit, but there are ways to be smart about it. I outline ways to wisely plan your escape route in my previous posts When Is the Right Time to Leave Your Job? and How to Make the Risk of Starting Your Own Business Doable.


How to Challenge Your Assumptions and Common Fears

Whatever your fears are about quitting a job you hate, I encourage you to challenge those fears and assumptions. Here are a few ways to do so:

Challenge #1

Learn how to deal with limiting beliefs (the lies your annoying inner critic tells you).

Ask yourself these questions:

  • What is this limiting belief keeping me from?
  • What would be the worst-case scenario if I keep believing this?
  • How can I turn this belief around to a more positive statement?
  • How can I benefit from believing the more positive statement?
  • What would be the best-case scenario if I start believing the positive statement?

Challenge #2

Talk to others who currently work in a job or career field you think you might enjoy. Find out from them the career path they followed to get there.

You’ll likely find most people didn’t had a single direct career path that led them there. This will encourage and inspire you.

Also, they may provide you some tips for making the transfer to that industry.


Challenge #3

Take a weekday off from your job and spend the day doing job search activities just to get a feel for what that might be like.

Update your resume. (Click here to read why you should update your resume every six months.)

Spend some time familiarizing yourself with LinkedIn.

Can’t take a day off work to do this? Use one of your non-workdays.


Challenge #4

Put your resume out there and see what happens. Post your resume with no expectations.

You’ll be able to see what kind of opportunities your current resume is attracting so you can figure out how to tweak it with the right keywords to attract better opportunities.


Challenge #5

Write your resignation letter, but don’t send it.

Just write it to help you get used to the idea of what may need to happen in the near future.


Challenge #6

Dip your toe in the freelance water by offering your unique skills or expertise to a few friends or on sites like Fiverr.com or Upwork.com.

Determine from these small assignments if you like working for yourself or not.


Make Time to Experiment

Feel free to find other ways to experiment with the idea of making a job or career change.

Short-term experiments don’t have to financially break you and don’t require a huge commitment.

In fact, these little experiments might be just the thing to provide a little breath of fresh air to your current dreadful situation.

They can either help you hang on a little longer until you’re able to quit your job, or give you the courage now to go ahead and rip off the band-aid.

Related Posts:

common fears

How to Overcome Your Self-Imposed Boundaries

Fall is my favorite time of year to paddle board. Here in Tennessee, both the water and the weather is still warm through September and October, but there’s less humidity. Also the water is calmer and the leaves are prettier.

self-imposed boundaries

I remember one autumn when paddling with a couple who had bought their paddle boards around the same time I bought my first board. We’d gone a short distance, not quite a mile and a half, when we were about to pass the public access boat ramp.

It was at this point the husband said,

“I guess we should turn around now.”

I looked at him a little confused and asked him why. It seemed to me we were just getting started.

His response was,

“Because my wife and I have never gone further than this point before.”

My response:

“All the more reason for us to keep going!”

Eventually the couple started moving beyond their self-imposed boundaries. In doing so they discovered new scenery, and developed more stamina and confidence.

But they’re still limiting themselves in a lot of ways. They only paddle downstream in the day time. But due to the cliffs downstream, you can’t see the glory of a full moon rising during the monthly full moon group paddles in the evening. You have to go upstream to see the big orange moon coming up from the horizon.

The wife often admits to me she has a lot of fears about a lot of things, many of which she knows are irrational. It’s this fear that creates walls and unnecessary self-imposed boundaries on her life. And it causes her to miss out on some beautiful things life has to offer.

Don’t Confuse Comfort With Contentment

I’ll always remember the husband’s statement because it made me sad. There appeared to be no reason for the limit the couple was imposing on themselves other than they’d never paddled any further before. (But was that really a “reason,” or just an “excuse” for something?)

What makes me even sadder is knowing there are a lot of people who live their entire lives this way, stopping short of their full potential and the things life has to offer them. Mainly because they confuse comfort for contentment.

Have you ever put a limit on yourself for no particular reason? Or you say the reason is because you’re content but that’s really just an excuse to remain comfortable and avoid the fear of the unknown?

The best way to know if you have (or are currently doing so) is to ask yourself this question:

“Am I more afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone or more afraid of staying stuck where I am?”

If you’re more afraid of staying stuck where you are, then it’s time to push the boundaries of your goals.

Do You Have Self-Imposed Boundaries?

But let’s break this down a bit. There may be some areas of your life where you have no fear. You plow through your goals and continually push yourself in certain areas.

But in other areas you’re stuck because of your self-imposed boundaries.

One exercise you can do is to honestly evaluate the following seven categories in terms of the ones where you limit yourself the most:

  1. Spiritual
  2. Family
  3. Health
  4. Work
  5. Financial
  6. Social
  7. Educational

Feel free to add additional categories where you know you limit yourself.

In which categories do you recognize a lot of limits? Are those limits real or imagined? Are they self-imposed?

This exercise is one of the first steps in the 8-Step Goal-Achievement Plan. The plan teaches you how to overcome your limiting beliefs in each category.

You’ll also want to check out “How to Overcome Negative Self-Talk Like an Olympian”.

negative self-talk

Only after you categorize the areas where you need improvement and address your limiting beliefs can you begin to set long-term and short-term goals.

Reaching Your Full Potential

It’s good to make sure you’re setting goals that are realistic. But it’s also important to keep pushing the boundaries of those goals so you can accomplish the things you were created to do.

Getting stuck in fear, comfort, or a particular way of doing something can prevent you from reaching your full potential. Which by the way hurts others who could benefit from your full potential. Plus it can become down right boring!

Maybe it’s time to be honest with yourself on whether you’re truly content or just comfortable. One way to do so is to start working through the 8-Step Goal-Achievement Plan. You can download the plan for free when you subscribe to the paNASH newsletter.

Related Posts:

self-imposed boundaries

How to Overcome Negative Self-Talk Like an Olympian

Like most people, I’ve been watching the Olympics the past week and a half. It’s the best way to witness people’s pursuit of their passions in action.

What I love most about the Olympics and sports in general is the inspiration and encouragement it provides for everyone who has a passion and a dream.

You’re Never Too Old…

The stories I’m most inspired by are the ones where the athlete has competed in numerous Olympics over the years.

In this winter Olympics, there’s 45-year-old Japanese ski jumper Noriaki Kasai who now holds the record with EIGHT STRAIGHT Olympic appearances. 

Kasai says he also plans to compete in the 2022 Olympics as he approaches age 50.


But it’s the story from the 2016 Olympics that I love most.

It’s of the Uzbekistan gymnast Oksana Chusovitina. 

At the time, Oksana was 41-years-old competing in her seventh Olympics (and she still hasn’t ruled out Tokyo!) in a sport where as young as 21 is considered “old.” 

Oksana is my “shero” because she and I are almost the same age (I’ve got a year on her), and she doesn’t allow her age to be an obstacle to her dreams and her passions.

Most people in her position would tell themselves they are “too old.” 

Too old for what? 

Tell that to the 85-year-old woman I met while volunteering for the Senior Olympics. 

By the time she’d made it to the event I was working, she had already competed and medaled in NINE other events over the previous three days.


…Or Too Young

On the flip side of this, I was recently working with a new client who shared with me that one of her self-talk limiting beliefs (a perceived obstacle) is she is “too young.” 

I found this surprising coming from someone who works as an actress, also a career where time and age are against you. 

My response was, “too young for what?” 

When I delved deeper into where this limiting belief came from, I discovered she suffers from the same thing I used to: 

“youngest-sibling-syndrome”

I describe this phenomenon as never feeling adequate because your oldest sibling is there to remind you that in their eyes you’re still just a baby and have nothing meaningful to contribute to the world.


Age Is Just a Number

The point is though, age is just a number. 

We have the choice to let our circumstances, others’ opinions, or even our own negative self-talk control our lives. 

Or, we have the choice to be inspired and moved by the examples of those who ignore all the “you can’t because of your age” talk and say to themselves, 

“I can, even if I fail in my attempt.”


From the judges’ perspective, Oksana failed miserably in her landing of her vault. 

Upon landing so hard she ended up going into a flip on the mat. 

From my perspective though, she should’ve gotten extra points for the extra flip. For making such a failed landing look so graceful!


Change Your Limiting Beliefs and Your Negative Self-Talk

If you have a God-given desire to try something you or others may consider you to be either “too old” or “too young” for, ask yourself these questions:

  • What is this limiting belief keeping me from?
  • What would be the worst-case scenario if I keep believing this?
  • How can I turn this belief around to a more positive statement?
  • How can I benefit from believing the more positive statement?
  • What would be the best-case scenario if I start believing the positive statement?

I encourage you to be as honest as possible in your answers. As you answer each question, you’ll see how you can turn your negative self-talk to positive self-talk.


How to address your limiting beliefs is just one of eight steps in my 8-Step Goal-Achievement Plan. To get all eight steps, subscribe to the paNASH newsletter and receive a free download.

Related Posts:

negative self-talk

5 Common Fears (and Myths) of Quitting a Job You Hate

You hate your job, but because of it you don’t have the time or energy to start the overwhelming process of finding something new. And you think you can’t quit it until you find another job. But is that really a true statement, or just common myth? Let’s look at some of the common fears most people have about quitting a job with nothing else lined up. Let’s challenge the assumptions that breed those fears.

Common Fear/Myth #1

I won’t be able to afford my bills. Is this a true statement? Do you have a little extra money stashed away you can get by on for a little while?

Are there some unnecessary expenses you can cut to help you pay your necessary bills? For example, could you sell your car and take the bus for a while? Or just park your car and cancel your insurance for a few months while taking the bus instead? Do you really need cable or a Netfilx subscription right now? Do you need numerous music subscriptions? Or can you just listen to good old fashioned radio?

Are there some things you no longer need you could sell? What about that treadmill the only gets used as a place to throw your clothes when you don’t feel like hanging them up (you know who you are!). What about the stack of books you’ve already read (or know you’re never going to read)? If you live alone, do you really need a TV in more than one room?

Are there some other ways you can earn cash like picking up some temporary side jobs or a part-time job? In addition, can you get a roommate and charge rent to help with some of your housing costs? Do you own something else others might want to rent on a short-term basis? Do you have a skill people will pay you to perform because of their lack of that skill?

Common Fear/Myth #2

I’ll lose my health insurance and retirement accounts. Not necessarily. If you leave your job you can always transfer your retirement over to an IRA where it can still earn some money and you can still contribute to it yourself a little at a time until you get your next full-time opportunity. The only thing you’ll be missing out on in the short-term is your company’s matching contribution.

When it comes to health insurance, you can visit ehealthinsurance.com to find temporary health insurance, alternatives to Obamacare, and more. If you happen to do a little freelancing on the side after leaving your job, you may qualify for very affordable insurance through the Freelancers Union at freelancersunion.org (also, it’s free to join the union!). I get my dental and disability insurance through them at very little cost per month.

Common Fear/Myth #3

It’ll look bad on my resume. Sure, if all you do is become a couch potato after quitting, it will look bad! However, if you use your time to improve your skillset, take some affordable online classes, do some side or freelance projects, volunteer with a local non-profit, raise money to travel on a mission trip, pursue a passion project, or work a fun part-time job, it’s not going to look bad at all.

Whatever you do, do something you find interesting. I’m sure if it’s something interesting to you, it could be interesting to the people who’ll eventually be interviewing you. Show on your resume what you’ve done and the skills and lessons learned from those interesting experiences. This will make your resume stand out.

Tim Ferris, author of the bestseller The 4-Hour Workweek suggests answering the interview question, “Why did you leave your previous job?” with, “I had an once-in-a-lifetime chance to do [interesting experience] and couldn’t turn it down.” He says because most interviewers are bored in their own jobs, they’ll spend much of the interview asking how you made it happen. You can then respond with how your skills and resourcefulness you used to make it happen will make you the person they should hire.

When I started phasing out my image consulting business due to burnout to decide if I wanted to return to career coaching or not, I worked a few weekends teaching beginner stand up paddling at my local SUP shop. If I’d had to go through a job interview following that experience, I can guarantee you I would pique the interviewer’s interest if I said, “I taught people the closest thing to walking on water.” Then, I would tell them about how I used my teaching and training skills to do so.

Common Fear/Myth #4

I need to have a “real job” instead of trying to freelance. Freelancing IS a real job! And it’s one of the fastest growing jobs in the country. Don’t believe me? Just check out this infographic courtesy of the Upwork.com and Freelancersunion.org:

quitting a job

Even if you have no plans to become a freelancer, you still need the skills of an entrepreneur to be successful in your next job. (Click here for a list of those skills.)

Common Fear/Myth #5

If I don’t quit now, I’ll never find a way out and will be stuck in my job forever! Not true! You may feel like you have to quit your job right away despite the fears listed above, but you don’t have to quit YET!

You can start creating an exit strategy now and implement it later when the timing makes more sense or if you’re not financially able to quit without having something else lined up. Yes, eventually you’ll have to rip off the band-aid and quit, but there are ways to be smart about it. I outline four ways to wisely plan your escape route in my previous post, “Don’t Quit Your Daydream (or Your Day Job)”.

How to Challenge Your Assumptions About Quitting a Job

Whatever your fears are about quitting a job you hate, I encourage you to challenge those fears and assumptions. Here are a few ways to do so:

  • Learn how to deal with limiting beliefs (the annoying inner critic that tells you, “You can’t do it!”). The process for dealing with limiting beliefs is available for free in the 8-Step Goal-Achievement Plan you’ll receive when you subscribe to the paNASH newsletter.
  • Talk to others who currently work in a job or career field you think you might enjoy. Find out from them the career path they followed to get there. You’ll likely find most people didn’t had a single direct career path that led them there. This will encourage and inspire you. Also, they may provide you some tips for making the transfer to that industry.
  • Take a weekday off from your job and spend the day doing job search activities just to get a feel for what that might be like. Update your resume. Spend some time familiarizing yourself with LinkedIn. Can’t take a day off work to do this? Use one of your non-workdays.
  • Put your resume out there and see what happens. Post your resume with no expectations. You’ll be able to see what kind of opportunities your current resume is attracting so you can figure out how to tweak it with the right keywords to attract better opportunities.
  • Write your resignation letter, but don’t send it. Just write it to help you get used to the idea of what may need to happen in the near future.
  • Dip your toe in the freelance water by offering your unique skills or expertise to a few friends or on sites like Fiverr.com or Upwork.com. Determine from these small assignments if you like working for yourself or not.

Make Time to Experiment

Feel free to find other ways to experiment with the idea of making a job or career change. Short-term experiments don’t have to financially break you and don’t require a huge commitment. In fact, these little experiments might be just the thing to provide a little breath of fresh air to your current dreadful situation. They can either help you hang on a little longer until you’re able to quit your job, or give you the courage now to go ahead and rip off the band-aid.

Related Posts

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